A caution for male writers when creating female characters
Last week, while conversing with my wife about an appropriate housewarming gift for a single woman in her mid-twenties buying her first home, I had an epiphany: I don’t remotely think like a woman. Therefore, I need to expend significant research and call on female beta-readers when creating female characters. If not, my stories won’t appeal or be convincing to female readers.
I’ll make this topic hit home with some real life examples. Let’s get inside a man’s head for a moment—mine: What does one get someone who’s just purchased their first home?
- Five-Gallon (Nineteen-Liter) Bucket
This is a home essential for a new homeowner. It’ll be used often for washing windows, floors, the car; used in the garden for pulling weeds from the flower beds, collecting twigs before mowing the lawn; a must-have for pulling up the old carpet and collecting hundreds of carpet pad staples. - Package of Light Bulbs
Let’s face it—the world has changed from inexpensive incandescent to compact fluorescent light bulbs that cost $9 USD ($6 GBP) each. No doubt the previous homeowner packed up all eight from the basement’s hanging fixtures, and the ones a new homeowner left in the end-table lamps are now broken as a result of the move. - Flannel-Lined Leather Work Gloves
With a new home, the homeowner will wear them to pull up the old carpet, carry out debris to the curb on trash day, and trim the shrubbery on the new property.
In a man’s mind, these are appropriate housewarming gifts because they’re practical. Much thought, consideration, and experience have gone into the selection of these products. However according to women, namely my wife, these are wildly inappropriate housewarming gifts. Instead, one should consider:
- Scented Candle
A fine and necessary method to remove odors left behind from the previous homeowners and their pets. In springtime, select a pale green or lavender-colored candle to reminisce of a dew-laden fragrant meadow, yet in autumn a burgundy or maple-colored candle is the more appropriate choice. - Non-Scented Candle
Viewed equally important to its cousin the scented candle, but used instead for practical lighting, particularly areas of the home that currently lack lamps or bulbs (eg, the basement when doing one’s first load of laundry because the previous homeowner removed all eight of the costly $9 USD / $6 GBP compact fluorescent light bulbs). - Decorative Candle Holder
Because it’s a no-no to simply place your scented or non-scented candle on an unprotected surface. Not only will this help better disperse mood lighting to any occasion via the subtle six-inch raised elevation, it also serves as a stunning accent piece during daytime.
Having had a week to compare and contrast the differences in thought between men and women simply in the selection of a housewarming gift, I realize that the volume of effort and research needed to write convincing female characters varies, and a few different tips and suggestions can be applied.
Is your female character a lead or a supporting character? Female readers may reject your entire work if the lead female character doesn’t think and behave like a typical female. For a supporting character, female readers may be more forgiving, but maybe not.
What’s the point of view (POV) of your story? Will you be writing only a woman’s dialog, or will you need to go deeper into a woman’s psyche in order to write the triple-threat: dialog, thoughts, and emotions.
Don’t be afraid to conduct interviews with women you know on how they would think and behave in certain circumstances you’ll be placing your female character. Also, enlist female beta-readers during your editing cycle.
If your female character will be speaking, thinking, or reminiscing about love or sex—well, you’re on your own.
It also depends on your female and their location as well. Where I appreciate scented candles and new pieces of art to grace my home, the house warming gift I received that I am currently most ecstatic over is the Garbage disposal my Grandmother sent me. My grandma is queen of frilly impractical gifts, but she was telling me about the soap dispenser she just installed in her kitchen, and how much she adored it, recommending that I also get one. I said that I believed my first major installation would be a garbage disposal, so that cued her into something that I didn’t necessarily need, but would like to have in my new home. Also I was given a $200 gift certificate to a local nursery for landscaping, which was incredibly useful, since I built my home through Habitat for Humanity, and the alloted amount of sod in their budget left me with a bare patch of dirt in the back yard. The gift certificate was immediately used on soil amendments and grass seed. In my case at the moment, a lawnmower would also be an appropriate housewarming gift! But then I was raised on a mountain 30 miles out of town, and where I appreciate form, I’m more concerned with function.
And P.S. I think the CFL light bulbs are a great idea. Maybe stick a scented candle with them to spruce it up, and write something clever in the card about bringing light to the new home.
Matt I think the first step is not to generalise about women in the first place. All women are individuals and we don’t all think alike. For example, I’m a very practical person and wouldn’t buy candles due to the fear of burning down my house, but some women love them.
I agree with Amanda. The first mistake is assuming you can write a “typical” woman. I don’t value a lot of stereotypically “female” things. However I’ve read some great female characters written by men and some awful ones written by women. I think you’re spot on by getting beta readers to comment however beta readers bring their own baggage to reading. I can’t stand “perfect” examples of femininity, and will be way more likely to lambast such a character as unrealistic. In the end, all we can do is trust our instincts!
Excellent point – beta readers are invaluable to writers.
But, having just bought a house, I must say I’d prefer to receive any of your gifts rather than a decorative feature for my home. Something useful = big plus. Something that I have to put on display every time you come around but which otherwise doesn’t match my decor = no thanks!
Heh! I won’t add to the line of “Not all men or women think alike” comments, though I agree with every one. I do think it’s great to recognize that when you’re creating a character, you’re creating someone who will think differently to you in many situations. You’ve given a good example. Characters are much harder work than they seem at first.
Hi, I’m a practical female, so this might not apply, but it sounds like others think like me (above). When I bought my first house without a fiance/husband (i.e., man), I discovered I was clueless about stuff men think about. I luckily worked around all men, so went to them and asked three of them for lists of things they do throughout the year (like servicing the AC/heater, cleaning air vents, putting salt in water softener) that I might not think about because my ex-husband had done those and I didn’t grow up with my Dad doing them (we were military and moved, from one non-owned house to another). I eventually needed a bucket like you described (but had no idea where to get one, they seem to just materialize, you know?) and had to call a male friend to tell me how to start my new lawnmower (it had a primer, new to me, but he didnt’ even have to see it to tell me how to start it). New lawnmower has no primer. Then again, my first male visitor brought me some candles for my house and they happened to be red (one of my colors in the house) and non-scented (I hate badly scented candles) so those worked out, but I had receiving decorative items that do not go with my decorating style. I love your idea of finding beta readers for the characters we don’t really live inside. I’ve got some that are even culturally different and have to watch those translations as well so as to keep them “real.” Good post!
*”hate” receiving decorative items that don’t go with my style…what do you do with them???
Great feedback from all of you above! Thank you!